Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Opiates, Opioids, Power & Strength, Purpose, Uncategorized

Do You Understand?

We’re in a war.  Addiction is the killer that wants to destroy you.  It’s rampant.  It’s insidious. It’s even promoted and enabled by doctors who you thought you could trust.  It seeks anyone it can.  It overpowers the  young and old, rich and poor, professionals and the uneducated, men and women, children, those in mansions and those who are homeless.  Anyone with breath are it’s victims.  Blink your eyes and it’s already gotten hold of you.

  • For you who are married to a substance abuser, do you understand how and why this happened, and that you can help?
  • For you, parents, do you understand how your child ended up in an addiction, and what you can do about it?
  • For those of you who depend so deeply on a doctor for all of your problems, can you even begin to comprehend the reason why your pain is getting worse and why your health is failing?
  • To you kids, I’m so sorry your parents are using drugs and have seemingly abandoned you and your needs; do you want to know more?
  • To all of you who have a loved one whose personality has radically changed: do you want to know how to tell if it’s because of drugs or alcohol?
  • Are you or your loved one sleeping all the time and you can’t figure out why?
  • Are you, or a loved one, emotionally out of control and being given all of these psychiatric diagnoses that require medications that are making it worse?  Do you want to know why?
  • Have you, or a loved one, become unmotivated and apathetic about work, life and your family?  Want to understand why this could be?
  • Are your prescription drugs for pain, anxiety and depression making you worse, but you’ve convinced yourself that your doctor is always right and would never harm you, so you keep taking them anyway?
  • Does there seem as though there is a dark cloud over you that won’t leave you alone?

stop 9Most people just don’t understand anything about addiction.  Unfortunately, there is a very real stigma associated with it. Many are in denial about it.  Others make a loved one worse because they don’t know anything about enabling.  Some don’t recognize the signs of addiction until they find their loved one blue and dead from an overdose one morning.  There are those who are so lost in an addiction that they can no longer help themselves, so they need to be rescued.  There are enablers out there who think that feeding their loved one will keep them from using again or that, without giving money, they will end up on the streets and die.

Addiction affects EVERYONE!  You either are in an addiction or you have a friend or loved one who is.  You may know someone who overdosed and died.  We need to work together to STOP & PREVENT addition.  Most of all, we need to eliminate the stigma associated with it.  The answer and the solution is God… Jesus Christ.  Laugh at me… mock me… tell me I need to get a life; however, I’m right!  Our ministry in addiction and recovery has proven I’m right.  The Lord saved my life from certain death in 2007 and healed me.  I have never struggled.  My addiction is in my past and does not affect my life in any way except for the good.  I appreciate and love each day because I’m free.  I never take my freedom and healing for granted.  Our ministry works with people to recovery and, soon, we will have an faith based, NON-12 Step healing drug & alcohol rehab up and running here in Montana.

When the current rehab system isn’t working, and more people are dying at a higher rate than ever, continuing in the same way is insanity, isn’t it?  Why do what isn’t working over and over again.  We came up with something miraculously different!  People actually get healed and have new lives.  No one has to do ‘steps’ for the rest of their lives!  That, in itself is bondage.  We get people out of bondage and into freedom.

If you want to have a talk, we’re here for you.  Just go to our contact page and reach out to us.  We just may be able to help.  The talk is FREE.

Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Anxiety, Fear, Opioids, Uncategorized


Fear, by definition, is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

There are a great deal of ways to talk about fear; however, today I want to discuss fear after detox and during recovery.  I want to talk about it because it was something I personally and profoundly experienced during my first few months after getting out of detox.  I learned how to work through with the Lord’s supernatural help… and got rid of it for good. Now, anxiety is another issue; please don’t confuse the two.  While both fear and anxiety produce fairly similar responses, fear is an emotional response to a known or very definite threat.  Anxiety is often a response from an unknown threat.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear,
but of Power and of Love
and of a Sound Mind”
2 Timothy 1:7

By the time of my near death, in 2007, I was so dumbed down by drugs, that I did everything without any thought, without identifying obstacles, and without considering consequences.  My mind wasn’t working properly due to what the drugs were doing to my brain, and I was afraid of very little.  Don’t get me wrong… I was still fearful of certain things that plagued me during my whole lifetime, but most of my fears were squashed by the 12 different narcotics I was taking.  After detox, when my mind awakened, I had exaggerated fears.  I didn’t know how to cope without pills.  I knew I’d never go back to drugs, but I also missed being able to pop a pill and find all fears were gone.  There are no solutions in any pill.  Solutions rest in God.  Don’t be foolish and find yourself fighting for your life in an intensive care unit as I had to; it wasn’t pretty.  Choose Jesus, not drugs.

0c33aea2329f1a8c8e4d24737529aa02-fear-the-fearDo you have fears?  Whether you’re on drugs, fresh out of detox, or none of the above, fear is very really and crippling.  Pills do NOT hold the answer.  Secular psychiatry and psychology do NOT hold the answers.  The Bible does.  Specialized life coaching is a good method to help a healthy mind combat fears.  We do that within our ministry… whether you’re in recovery or not.  Check us out!  Recovery can be awesome!


Posted in Accidental Overdose, Benzodiazepines, Opiates, Opioids, Prescription Drug Addiction, recovery, suffering, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

C’mon… There’s Got to be an UpSide to Opioids, Benzos, Hypnotics and Psychiatric Drugs… right?

overdose 7

There is NO UPSIDE.  They will lethally bite you back – suddenly – when you least expect it – in more horrific and unmerciful ways that you ever thought possible!  If you haven’t started, don’t!  If you take benzos, opioids, hypnotics (sleeping pills) or psychiatric drugs, get professional help TODAY with medically supervised detox.  I don’t care who you are, do NOT detox yourself or the bite will be far worse than you could ever imagine!  Unless you’ve been there, you’re clueless. It takes just one tiny pill.  I know.  I’ve spoken with too many people whose loved ones just took one dose and died.  Some were teens.  I was beyond blessed to have lived through it.



Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Opiates, Opioids, Prescription Drug Addiction, recovery, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

A Word to Those of You Taking Benzos, Opioids, and Psychiatric Medications

No matter what I say here today, NEVER NEVER NEVER discontinue these types of medications on your own OR try to detox yourself.  If you do, you are putting yourself in extreme harm’s way.  Even addicted doctors should never do this on their own.  Detoxing must be medically supervised in order to be safe.  These types of drugs are loose canons – UNPREDICTABLE.  I don’t care how smart or clever you think you are, do NOT attempt this on your own.  If you do, you are not a smart or balanced individual, which is probably because you are under the spell of these dangerous medications.  Included, but not limited to, results of detoxing yourself are: seizures, heart attack, psychosis, delusions, severe depression, hallucinations, stroke and death.

So, why do you need to detox.  After stating the above, it’s not rocket science.  While these drugs ‘appear’ to partially resolve some psychiatric issues, they cause side effects that override any temporary benefits.  The side effects include making worse the symptoms of the original problem for which you took them for.  The addiction they all cause all lead to horrific withdrawal, which it a nightmare all it’s own.  People taking hypnotics (sleeping pills) find that they can no longer sleep and require dangerously higher dosages which can lead to death.  Painkillers, after a short time, will cause an exacerbation of pain.  Tranquilizers (benzos) will cause agitation, severe muscle cramping, depression and psychosis.  Antidepressants cause worsening depression.  ALL of these drugs can cause strange behaviors, suicide and homicide.

The following are 12 shocking facts about the dangers of psychiatric drugs.  Please become familiar with them.

1. No Physical Test Can Prove the Existence of a “Mental Disorder”

No blood, urine, or chemical imbalance exam can test for the presence of a mental disease or illness. Even x-rays or brain scans can’t show the presence of a “mental disorder.”  This leads many to believe that healthy patients have a great possibility of being diagnosed with supposed “disorders” even if they are only displaying minor symptoms. Many of these symptoms include stress and difficulty concentrating — issues that can often be chalked up as a natural response to everyday stress. I, along with many Bible believing Christians, know that there is no such thing as ‘mental illness’ – there is demonic possession and oppression.

2. The Psychiatric Industry is a $330 Billion Industry

That’s a huge number and many forces are at work to preserve and grow it. While most physicians are not mercenary in their approach to prescribing medications, there is an argument to be made for the possibility of a conflict of interest when it comes to the rise of psychiatric prescriptions.

3. Worldwide, Over 100 Million People Take Psychiatric Drugs

That seems like an astoundingly high number. What’s going on that so many among us feel the need to be medicated?

4. U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs: 23 Soldiers and Vets Commit Suicide Every Day

The most shocking part of this statistic is that it exists despite the use of antidepressants. These suicides are often due to post-traumatic stress disorder coupled with the inability to cope with civilian life. So far, the solution has just been more psychiatric drugs.

5. Worldwide, 17 Million Children Take Psychiatric Drugs

To say that this is a dangerous epidemic is an understatement. Regulatory agencies in Europe, Australia, and the United States have issued warnings about the potential for anti-depressants to cause suicide or hostility and rage.

6. 10 Million of These Kids are in the United States

That means the United States has 30% more children than the rest of the world on addictive stimulants, antidepressants, and other mind-altering drugs. That’s not a number one position to be proud of.

7. FDA Warnings Have Been Issued for Ritalin and Concerta

And they aren’t alone, and other psychiatric stimulants have had similar warnings issued for their effects on children.  What’s the problem? Well, for starters, these drugs may cause psychotic behavior, heart attack, stroke and sudden death. If that’s not enough, add suicidal thoughts and inclinations toward violent behavior to the list.

8. Antidepressants Come With a Warning Label

In 2004, the FDA finally ordered a “black box” label on all antidepressants to warn of psychiatric drugs’ increasing suicide risk in children and adolescents. Being an adult, however, doesn’t guarantee safety. In 2006, the FDA increased the age to include young adults up to age of 25.

9. Children Five and Under Are the Fastest Growing Group Being Prescribed Antidepressants

Think of all the kids under five you know — they’re the target for these drugs. [10] Now picture this, from 1995-1999, antidepressant use increased 580% in ages 6 years and younger. It grew 151% in the 7-12 age group during the same time period. [11] Without action, it’s only going to go up from there. Do you think children should take these drugs? Watch this video and decide for yourself…

10. 10% of Teens Abuse Ritalin and Adderall

That’s according to a U.S. news report. No surprise, these drugs have a tendency to be highly addictive.  Unfortunately, because kids are prescribed these drugs en masse, availability isn’t much of an issue and they don’t need to head over to skid row to pick this stuff up.

11. General Physicians Prescribe 70% of Psychotropic Drugs

No offense to family practice physicians, but should they be the ones prescribing the majority of these mind medicines? Pragmatically, this statistic literally means that a majority of these drugs get used without a psychiatric evaluation to determine if they’re necessary, appropriate, or safe.

12. Some Reports Show Antidepressants are No Better than Placebo

While published reports do show 94% effectiveness, taking a look at the total reports submitted to the FDA, only 50% reported positive outcomes. That being said, around 50% of patients would be better off taking a placebo. In addition, 31% of the 74 FDA-registered studies have never been published.  Sound like a complicated number soup yet? It is, a 2009 analysis showed traditional pharmaceutical drugs yield inconsistent results.

A Final Thought…

While not everyone will succumb to the negative effects of psychiatric drugs, the risk of negative side effects cannot be ignored and should absolutely be thoroughly discussed and understood. In some cases, natural remedies for mood support may be a viable option. If you want to learn more about this insanity? You have to watch this video…

The Marketing of Madness: The Truth About Psychotropic Drugs

YouTube Video

Did any of these facts surprise you? Do you have an experience with psychiatric drugs?

Portions of this article were taken from HERE.

After detox, there is a faith based, extremely affordable, individualized, and compassionate recovery program that you can attend from the comfort of your home or office.  Please CLICK HERE to learn more.


Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Alcohol, Anxiety, Benzodiazepines, Intervention, Opiates, Opioids, Prescription Drug Addiction, recovered, recovery, Salvation, Uncategorized

Who, What, When, Where, Why & How?

In our ministry of taking people through to a completed recovery, we have learned a few things over the years.  One of the major observations has been that there is a common threat in each person who has become addicted.  The exception?  Well, there’s always an exception in everything in this life.  Occasionally (very occasionally), someone who has become addicted due to the egregious act of their doctor, is not part of this ‘thread’ because they weren’t looking for a vacation from their past.  The common thread is despair – call it depression, anxiety, a restless soul who is looking for purpose and can’t find it, or an otherwise similar emotional state.

For me, it was definitely despair.  I was the 7th child of 8 born to my parents… parents who somewhat dysfunctionally stayed together for their entire life.  Don’t get me wrong, they loved each other desperately and always had each other’s backs.  It was just that they were victims of how their lives unfolded and didn’t have the tools to cope.  Their dysfunction came from the anxiety and stress that was created from burying 7 children – all under one month old.  My dad was a successful businessman and a proud veteran who suffered from PTSD and was a functional drinker.  (I say drinker and not alcoholic because addiction is NOT a disease.)  Dad found solace in the bottle, while Mom found it in benzos – specifically Valium.  They both shared their stress relievers  with me from age 11, so I learned quickly that a pill or a glass of booze was the answer.  That’s was why I never learned to deal with stress and drugged through my life until a little over years ago when Jesus set me free.  Although I excelled in school, I was seduced into a world of drugs, alcohol, sex and wild parties from an early age.  It’s all I knew.  It was my escape.  Although I was only present for the death of my brother, I suffered the ravages of my parents’ emotional trauma as well as the early deaths of everyone I dearly loved in my family.  Except for one grandmother who lived until the ripe old age of 100, the rest of my family died young.  I wasn’t a Christian during those times, so there was no comfort or explanations to me as to why it all went down as it did.  My mom lived her life being angry at God and my dad just didn’t know Him even though he never stopped searching.  His search was in all the wrong places.

My own personal rescue from suicide attempts, despair, and hopelessness, was when I found my Lord and Savior – Jesus Christ – on a beautiful starry night on May 10th of 1979.  Everything changed that night when I invited Jesus into my heart.  My life began again – this time with hope, the will to live, joy and peace.

Yeshua at the door

Are you suffering?  Are you wanting hope and a change?  Is there someone you love who you see sinking?  There’s a God whose name is Jesus, knocking at your door.  He gathers His sheep with taking your darkest moments and turning them into life lessons that become victories.  It’s a supernatural world that is realized in our earthly lives.  Will you receive Him?  CLICK HERE to find out how to find your Answer, and please feel free to get in touch with me (below) if you need someone who’s been where you are.

Complete recovery is available through a faith based online compassionate recovery program availale HERE.

Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Opiates, Opioids, Signs of Addiction, Uncategorized

A Word to Family Members of Loved Ones in Addiction

addict 12

Family & Friends Must Intervene!

Learn the signs of addiction – for their sake.  Don’t play Russian Roulette with your loved one who is paralyzed by addiction.  Every day that they are still alive is a miracle.  You need to learn the outward signs so that you can intervene and save their life;  they will NOT and can NOT do it on their own. Don’t put action on a shelf somewhere.  Accidental overdoses have  no signs – they just happen and then they’re gone.  Here are some of the most obvious signs with most any addiction; there are more:


  • Bloodshot (glazy red) eyes
  • Enlarged or smaller sized pupils than usual
  • Deterioration in physical appearance (uneven skin tone, decreased grooming, severe weight gain, or weight loss)
  • Sudden change in sleep pattern or pretends to be sick
  • Hyped up behavior and saying things that make no sense
  • Bad hygiene (bad breathe, clothes smell, teeth begin to yellow, eyes appear droopy)
  • Suddenly prefers to spend a majority of their time alone
  • Neglects responsibilities
  • Disappears and gives no explanation
  • On-going money troubles (constantly complains of a lack of funds)
  • Slow motor skills, delayed reactions, and slurred speech
  • Sudden need for money and experiences unexplained financial issues
  • Behaviors seem to be shady, secretive, or suspicious
  • Change is circle of friends, hobbies, interests, and preferred places to hang out
  • Lack of motivation or drive to work or study
  • Unusual anxiety and fear
  • Increased anger, mood swings, apathy, lethargy and a change in attitude
  • Personality changes
  • Fighting, stealing, or illegal activity

When I was in my own addiction, for many years prior to March of 2007, no one said anything until AFTER I was detoxed.  Some didn’t know I was drugging, while others just watched and said nothing.  It’s amazing who really cares and who doesn’t.  For those who just don’t know, please carefully note the above signs and make a move because time is running out quickly.
Two things are certain:

1)  Unless your loved one has completely hit a dangerous rock bottom that shakes them to the core of their soul, your addicted loved one  will  NOT   want to end their addiction on their  own; they simply can’t.  Your loved one may not be ready for recovery at all yet.  He or she may require some preparations to enter detox first.  You will first need to intervene at this critical time.  When do you intervene?  Right now!  Drug addicts are overtaken by their addiction and their addiction is their comfort zone – as uncomfortable as that may be for them.  They need to be rescued before they experience an accidental overdose from which they may not survive.  If they don’t go to detox, most will die prematurely from accidental overdose.  No matter what he/she tells you, don’t believe them; they won’t go on their own.
Once your loved one returns from detox (8 to 14 days), it is the most vulnerable time for them.  It is a time when they can easily return to drugs or alcohol.  They MUST enter recovery.  Here’s where we come in.  If they are against recovery, you need to have the tools in your toolbox on how to steer them into attending recovery.  It takes up to one year to fully recover.  The brain goes through many changes during that year and your loved one needs help, guidance, education and support.  We’re here to do that for them; however, it’s your job to convince the reluctant newly detoxed person to enter recovery because they still are not ready or able to make proper decisions.  We can coach you through this critical time.

2)  While it’s not a disease, when addiction takes hold, it posesses one’s soul and refuses to let go.  It’s as though your loved one has been put in a prison cell with unbendable bars and a lock to which no one has the key.  It’s bondage – plain and simple.  As I have always said, addiction is a spiritual problem that demands a spiritual solution.  The only way out is by rescue. You are dealing with someone who is NOT the person you once knew before addiction hit.  This is a different person who lives to use and nothing much else matters.  You can’t deal with logic or rationality.  You need to be tough and strong.  You need to pray, and pray hard.  You especially need to take action!

The addicted person lives by no moral code and no boundaries.  They function on  the level of an animal after prey.  They need to keep ‘hunting’ in order to exist and not become excrutiatingly sick from withdrawal.  They go by no rhyme or reason.   Unless you’ve been where they are, you cannot possibly understand what they’re going through.  Just know, that they are terrorized and wish this never happened to them.  They are by no means happy; however, they’ll almost always tell you that they’re fine the way they are.  Don’t believe that for one moment!
So, what can you do?  If your loved one won’t enter detox on his/her own, then you need to intervene yourselves, or hire an interventionist to be the catalyst for their entering detox.  While we are not interventionists, we can coach you through to doing that.  Please  CONTACT US  and we can talk about the ever so important role that you can play in setting them FREE.  We also provide family coaching for getting your newly detoxed loved one into recovery and for dealing with a drug addict in your family.
Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Opiates, Opioids, Prescription Drug Addiction, Recovery to being Recovered, Uncategorized

I Got Through it all because of Jesus ~ because He First Loved Me


Back in March of 2007, I had, overnight, become really really sick in withdrawal.  Despite the fact that I was a nurse and worked in a rehab, I didn’t know I was in withdrawal.  I knew I was dying, but I didn’t know why.  If you’ve experienced withdrawal, you know exactly what i mean.  As a matter of fact, it’s the reason you continue to use and afraid to get help.  As soon as you start going into it, you hurry to get out.

I had gone to the doctor who was my neurologist at the time, who told me that he thought I could be in withdrawal from my body needing more drugs.  So, what did he do?  He told me to decrease my 12 narcotics by half!!!!!!!!!!!!   Lots of exclamation points because that was what set me into the worst withdrawal anyone could ever enter into.  It was as though I was pushed off a 30,000 foot mountain.  I was falling – and falling hard and fast.  Moment by moment it kept getting worse and worse.  I knew this could only end up with my death once I reached the bottom.  How could it not?  It just goes to prove that most doctors don’t know what they’re doing with medications.  Logic says that if withdrawal is caused by my body requiring more drugs, cutting the drugs in half would send me spiraling down fast.

What was withdrawal like?  I’m glad you asked, so I’ll tell you.  My hope is that you’ll get help right now so that you never have to feel the extent of withdrawal as i had to endure. My heart was racing and pumping out of my chest, causing my inability to rest, relax and sleep.  I could feel the irregularity of the beating with palpitations.  I had to keep telling myself to breathe because my body kept stopping my ability to breathe. My head would fall for brief moment because my body ached for sleep.  I was hungry but was unable to eat.  Food tasted like ‘death’ to me.  That’s hard to describe; however, it was as though I was eating the cadavers that had been in a morgue for days – rotting and stinking.  My tongue was a strange blue-purple color and so furry it looked like hair was growing out of it.  Both visual and audible hallucinations kept happening.  It was strange because I was able to differentiate the hallucinations from what was real, but couldn’t stop them.  They were demonic and more frightening than anything a human being could ever watch in a video or movie.  Darkness was around me – literally.  It was as though I was walking through a gray clouded storm all around me.  My skin crawled.  It was as though mice, bugs and rats were crawling on and under every part of my body, when there were none.  I knew it wasn’t real but the fear wouldn’t leave.  If it had been real, I could have done something to get ‘them’ away.  Due to it being hallucinatory, there was nothing I could do to end it.  On top of that, bugs and rodents have always been a phobia to me, so I was in hell.  I had become incontinent of urine so I was unable to control my bladder.  My bowels had stopped working from the drugs and it was very painful; just blood was coming out of me.  I was nauseous and vomiting. I was paranoid.  I remember focusing only on finding a point of contact with Jesus.  There was an internet show that my husband and I would listen to at 10 pm every evening.  I can remember listening to every word they said and singing along with the music of praise to God.  I even remember typing the words to Amazing Grace on my desktop in order to hold my focus to God and not to what was going terribly wrong in my mind and body.  I knew I was dying but didn’t know what to do.  My husband had arranged several ambulance rides to the ER , but no one cared about an ‘addict’ and they kept sending me home to die.

Through all that I went through at that time, I kept reaching out to Jesus and I knew His Hands were reaching out to me to rescue me.  The rescue happened after a few weeks of withdrawal.  It wasn’t that He couldn’t find me; I just had to go through the worst things imaginable in order to learn my lesson to be set free for the rest of my life.  You can read my story here on this blog; however, I want to tell you that, in my weak and delusional state, I was abducted and held against my will for 3 days by 3 sadists who tried to kill me.  I escaped from their torture chamber on the third day of captivity in a moment when they had to go somewhere for a few minutes.  I was locked up and locked in.  I was forced to jump 22 feet from a window that I had to crawl up stairs to get to.  It was after I jumped and crawled for a while on a lonely road to find someone who would help me, that I saw my Jesus.  He was above me reaching out His hands to me, telling me that I would have to continue to go through more very dark times, but that He would bring me to a place of total healing and that I would end up being fine and healthy, serving Him. That all came to pass, praise be to God.  For the past 11 years, I have been serving the Lord in a ministry He gave me helping those in addiction.  His message regarding the mission that I carry out for Him, was that it was Him, and Him alone, who is able to set all those in the bondage of addiction, completely FREE for life!

Would you like to enter into a recovery program from home?  It’s a program handed to me by God Himself.  It is faith based, compassionate and individualized.  It is also very affordable to just about anyone.  Please click here and see what my journey in addiction brought into being.


Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Anxiety, Benzodiazepines, Opioids, recovered, recovery, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

I Traded the World, its Blood Sucking Shrinks, its Dangerous Meds & Never-ending Recovery for Jesus Christ and 100% Total Healing for a Lifetime

Since 2007, I haven’t needed or wanted the world’s answers to addiction. To put it mildly, the world has no answers.  All they do is tell you it’s some (theorized) disease and that you’ll never recover.  What kind of ridiculous theory is that?  Where’s the hope? It only leads you down a slippery slope of revolving door rehabs, shrinks and their dangerous psychiatric medications, multiple mental diagnoses (again, fictitious), and ongoing failures that lead to self doubt, disability and low self-esteem.  I am a child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords – Jesus Christ. He suffered and died for me (and you) during a grizzly crucifixion, as a sacrifice for my sins so that I could be set FREE from sin and Satan’s power.  Faith, unless it’s put in action, is not faith at all, so I made the choice to live my faith for the first time back n May 10th of 2007… the day I left detox.

Therefore if the Son sets you FREE,  you shall be FREE indeed.”

John 8:36 – The Bible


For those of you who haven’t yet read or heard my story, you don’t know my background.  In a nutshell, from age 11 through most of my adult years (except for the past 11 glorious FREE & HAPPY years), nefarious doctors fed me all kinds of dangerous psychiatric medications, opioids, benzodiazepines, etc, in order to placate me for my complaints of chronic pain and resulting stress to my life. As soon as they gave me a new medication, there were new problems that ended up being misdiagnosed side effects of the meds.  It was as though I was thrown off the tallest mountain and I just kept falling, without ever landing.  In March of 2007, that landing was my near death experience… a massive accidental overdose that could have easily been prevented by never prescribing what they did… a crash and burn that I wish on no one!

My point in this post, is to tell you that Jesus Christ is your one and only answer to addiction.  If you have received Him, and you are truly saved, you can access your freedom today – right now.  If you’re not saved because you don’t yet know Jesus, you need Him.  He is the Creator of all things and He created you!  He is able to fix what you messed up.  He puts us back together, better than before.  He heals!  He delivers!  He is faithful!  He will never leave you, forsake you, or disappoint you.  Make Him yours!

If you’re finding yourself in the web of deception created by rehabs and doctors, please contact me and we can talk.  I went through quite a lot of darkness until I found the Light, so I learned a few things along the way that may help you.  The facts are:

  • Jesus can heal you for a lifetime
  • Your faith will make you whole
  • But to you who fear my name shall the sun of righteousness arise with healing in its wings. (Malachi 4:2)
  • ‘Relapse’ is just another term for doctors and facilities saying, ‘Give me your money’
  • Don’t take those ’12 Steps’ to Hell

Individualized, affordable, faith based, and compassionate virtual recovery  – by phone & online with 24/7 support.  Click to Victory Retreat Montana for more info. We lead you on your personal road to total healing.

Posted in Accidental Overdose, Benzodiazepines, Prescription Drug Addiction, recovery, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

The question, should I stay (in addiction) or should I go, was never a consideration for me over 11 years ago… at least not until withdrawal became so bad that it nearly killed me.  For all the years of my former addiction, I never even gave a thought to whether I was addicted or not… it never came up in the dumbed down former mind of mine in those days.  It’s strange what drugs do to your head.  I believe that there is a spiritual aspect to drugs and that they have the ability to literally possess you.  They cause you to focus on only them and nothing or no one else.  If you’re a Christian, they even take God out of the equation of your life and put Him on the back burner.

giphyMy (unscrupulous) doctors all told me that I needed the lethal cocktail that they gave me.  As a nurse, it was embedded in me to never question them.  They knew best… or did they?  I never realized that I was handed all of those nasty prescriptions so that I would become addicted to be a cash cow for my doctors.  For review, to those of you who don’t follow my blog, I was given prescriptions for the following drugs by one medical practice of two doctors who both saw what the other one was prescribing: hydrocodone, soma, percocet, norco, morphine, codeine, methadone, oxycontin, fentanyl tablets, fentanyl patches, an ever-changing antidpressant, and Ativan.  When I got well from my ‘crash and burn’,  a coma and a near death experience,  the attending doctors and all the staff at the hospital kept telling me that they couldn’t believe I was alive and well.  I told them that it was Jesus who rescued me – not them.

Getting back to the topic at hand.  Oftentimes, you don’t realize you’re addicted – you don’t even think about it.  All you think about is your next high and not getting sick in withdrawal.  I’m asking you right now to think about your addiction please.  Consider the cost.  Try hard to stay in the moment of lucidity. One thing about people who ‘use’ is that lucidity comes in rare fleeting moments – if at all.  The drug takes over your mind and prevents you from thinking; however, you CAN if you try hard and pray even harder.  After all, we both know that the way you’re living isn’t enjoyable, is it?  Of course not!  Fear is what is keeping you from getting well, not enjoyment.  No one enjoys addiction; it’s pure bondage and no one wants to be in chains.

You can’t run and you can’t hide from drugs or alcohol.  Addiction is ever-present until the day you make the choice to leave it behind.  Yes, it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do, but you WILL get through it and you’ll finally have the life God gave you, with the purpose you were created for.  Please get help today and don’t do it on your own because it’s far too dangerous and you could die.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

(Psalm 147:3)

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Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Benzodiazepines, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

Xanax and Ativan and Klonopin, Oh My!

When we make the choice too find hope and peace in a little (lethal) pill, we’re in bigger trouble than we can ever realize.  Hope doesn’t come in the form of a capsule, tablet, street drug or alcohol.  Hope comes from the Lord and from within.  I’m not saying this with condemnation because up until 11 years ago, and since I was 11, I was drugging with prescription drugs, big time!  My lesson came from a devastating awakening via a massivev accidental overdose from which I was supposed to die.

I decided to talk about Benzodiazepines today because so many people are popping them, thinking that peace will come.  ‘Benzos’ are just another form of chemical restraint… kind of a straight jacket for the mind in the form of a pill.  You get carried into a peaceful euphoria for a half an hour to a few hours.  BUT… and there’s a BUT… you will pay the price.  Crushing your emotions is deadly; feelings need to be dealt with, head on.  Emotional trauma needs to be talked through and talked out – not numbed.  Benzos don’t take the trauma away… they just restrain your feelings for a very short time.  Have you ever considered that we were born with emotions?  Animals have emotions.  We need not be afraid of them… we need to feel them.  We will talk about relieving anxiety naturally in a future post.  Today, I wanted to alert you to the dangers so that you will get help.

Foundations Recovery Network, one of the nation’s leading organizations for treating a dual diagnosis of substance addiction and mental health disorders, recently put together an infographic on the risks associated with benzodiazepine abuse. Shared below with their permission, it summarizes data both startling and shocking from sources such as the British Medical Journal, Pain Medicine News, and SAMHSA, the government’s Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.

“While benzodiazepines have been prescribed for decades to treat anxiety and seizure disorders,” a foundation representative tells me, the “possible threat of overusing them is real and with that comes dependency, overdose and the potentiality of death.”

Do American doctors and patients know, for example, that since 2010, there have been 6,507 U.S. drug overdose deaths involving benzodiazepines? That in 2010 alone, 124,902 Americans were rushed to the E.R. just because of Xanax? And that, one year later, addiction to the same drug resulted in 39,408 confiscations by law authorities? If they didn’t know this, they should. 49 million prescriptions for Xanax were filled in the U.S. in 2011 alone.

The infographic summarizes common side effects and contraindications with benzodiazepine use; key statistics related to the dangers of abuse; and symptoms of overdose. It also lists the number of related ER visits for each type of benzo, and the number of confiscations by law enforcement. In total, Americans filled 127 million prescriptions for these drugs in 2011. The figures are eye-opening, deeply worrying, and clearly demand both attention and action.


benzo infographic

A portion of this article was taken from HERE.


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