Posted in Addiction, Forgiveness, healing, Jesus, Purpose, Uncategorized

What Can You Say to the Newly Recovered Former Substance Abuser?

Words hold power – to do either good or evil.  When you deliver bad words, life takes a turn for the worse.  When you speak good words, beautiful life changing events happen.  The recovered former substance abuser is extra sensitive during their first year, when the brain is re-setting itself to normal. When you love that person, you need to provide encouragement, forgiveness and a source of hope for them.  No, you’re not responsible for winning or losing in their recovery; however, you ARE responsible for respecting their humanity and showing them that you forgive them.  They need to feel your unconditional love, without placating them or giving them false hopes.  It’s a balance of things that need to work together to help them in a therapeutic and humane way.  We teach that at Victory Retreat Montana online.

The people the recovered former substance abuser comes home to are an integral part in that person’s completed recovery. Through your words to them, along with their observation of your lifestyle that back those words, they learn trust, love, compassion, balance, life skills and hope.  You need to know what ingredients to add that will make the recovery meal super delicious.  In a way it’s like a child learning what they live.  The vulnerable newly recovered former substance abuser is also like a child who need to re-learn life, just as a child does.

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For you newly recovered love one, NEVER…

  • Never call them an ‘addict’; that was then and not now; they are humans like anyone else
  • Never become hostile; hostility breeds rage and resentment
  • Never speak to them in the negative, such as saying things like, ‘don’t’, ‘you’re not’, ‘never’, ‘I prohibit you from’, ‘you can’t’, etc.  All of those negative words cause behaviors that are opposite to what you are demanding.  When you tell someone, ‘don’t, they ‘do’.
  • Never speak words that will dredge up their past. The past is over and done.  No one should ever be defined by their past.
  • Never correct in a negative manner.
  • Never use words of condemnation.
  • Never react in anger.
  • Never cause them to feel invisible; that’s abusive.

For your newly recovered loved one, ALWAYS…

  • Always speak truth in words and in deeds… and follow through with your promises.
  • Always pray for and with your loved one at least once daily and each time a crisis comes up.
  • Always be a source of encouragement. There is always something to respond with encouragement about.
  • Always be there to listen – without judgement.
  • Show unconditional love always.
  • Find something to compliment about your loved one.
  • Deliver words that bring change.
  • Offer words, on a daily basis (or more), that tells them how much they matter.
  • Ask them if they would like to talk about their plans and encourage them.
  • Tell them, in word and in deed, that you are proud of them.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
Proverbs 18:21

 

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Posted in Addiction, healing, Jesus, recovery, Salvation, suffering, Uncategorized

Have You Asked Yourself, “Who Am I”?

Most of what I have written, to date, has been about my personal exodus out of addiction.  I’m as far from being a narcissist as anyone could be; however,  I just wanted you to know that complete healing is possible.  I am asking you to stand on the Word of God with me that says, “with God, ALL things are possible”. From today, and going forward, my posts will be directed to YOU and trying to help you discover who you are!  When Jesus spared my life after my near death, I promised Him that I would show others the same Holy Road that He took me on.  I care about your freedom and I want to lead you to the place where I am – a place where you will never have to fear addiction ever again; it’s the way Jesus taught me.  Once you arrive, you’ll just KNOW that getting free from addiction will never be a decision that you will make again.  You will never be hostage to anything again.

Addiction freedom is a destination to which I can give you the directions. I cannot put you there unless you follow them yourself. You’re going to have to walk there – barefoot.  Sometimes you even have to pull glass and rocks out of the bottom of your. BUT… the joy upon arrival is unspeakably spectacular and everlasting.  You’ll never have to walk that road again!

Now, back to the question.  Have you ever asked yourself, who am I?  Maybe you did and maybe you didn’t; but, if you have, have you been able to truthfully and knowingly answer that question?  Perhaps you’re struggling with it.  One of the common threads that exist within people enslaved by addiction is that they don’t know who they are and why they’re here, which leads them into feeling useless and hopeless.  Despair is the #1 cause of addiction. 

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.
2 Corinthians 4:8-10

You see, your Heavenly Father created you with a purpose for which He chose only you to accomplish during your time here on earth. Never choose to be a slave of your past!  Do not let it own you.  The Lord knows you’ve been through an abusive childhood… that you’ve been bullied… that you’ave been abuses by your spouse… that you’ve suffered a horrific life in the foster care system… that you’ve been molested and raped by someone you trusted… that you’ve had to grow up in a broken home… that you’ve suffered the unthinkable  separation from someone who meant everything to you – through their death… that you’ve been through a teen pregnancy… that you’ve been somehow involved in sex slavery… that you’ve been into witchcraft… that you have involved yourself in criminal activities… that you’ve been in prison… that you have been through the torture of the death of your child… that you have had an abortion, or taken part in abortion procedures… that your mind keeps focusing on your nightmarish regrets… and other things that this broken world may have done to you.  I’m here to tell you that all of these nightmares have contributed to who you are, your endurance, and the strength you have.  After all, you’re alive and reading this, aren’t you?  For the past 11 years, I have been able to use the nightmares I’ve been through to mentor, coach and counsel others in the recovery ministry God gave me.  In many things, I can say I’ve been there, done that, and I’m still here and better than ever!

Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:

But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

1 Peter 4:12,13

So, who are you? If you don’t know, ask yourself, who do I want to be?  That is a very transforming moment.  “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.”  Those thoughts of who you want to be, come from the Lord.  He will feed your purpose into your  spirit and the transformation will begin.  Don’t know how to take it from there?  Specialized coaching can help.  Sound spooky or crazy?  Well, the Bible is a supernatural book; it’s ALIVE!

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:17,18

Need truly affordable help in recovery? Want a permanent solution for addiction? Don’t want to do ‘steps’ or be told that you have a (theorized) disease? Resent being called an ‘addict’ – even when you’re past your addiction? Want your recovery to remain private, be compassionate, and individualized just for you? Want a faith based solution? Would you like to recover from the privacy of your home or office? Don’t want recovery to interfere in your activities of daily living? A FREE, no obligation, 30 minute conversation by phone is waiting for you; however, for those who truly cannot afford our program and can demonstrate their need with verifiable documentation, the program is given FREE. Please CLICK HERE!
As a registered non profit corporation, we’re currently working hard to obtain grants, donations and funding so that we can provide you with a totally FREE program – if you are unable to afford our low cost.

 

One of my favorite songs’ lyrics, by Casting Crowns, is below.  Enjoy!

                     Who Am I
Who am I, that the lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart?
Not because of who I am
But because of what you’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who you are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still you hear me when I’m calling
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling
And you’ve told me who I am
I am yours
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again?
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me?
Not because of who I am
But because of what you’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who you are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still you hear me when I’m calling
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling
And you’ve told me who I am
I am yours
Not because of who I am
But because of what you’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who you are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still you hear me when I’m calling
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling
And you’ve told me who I am
I am yours
I am yours
I am yours
Whom shall I fear, whom shall I fear?
‘Cause I am yours
I am yours
Songwriters: John Mark Hall
(Who Am I lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Essential Music Publishing, Capitol Christian Music Group)

 

Posted in Addiction, healing, Jesus, Salvation, Uncategorized

Are You a Sheep or a Goat?

To permanently end addiction, one must choose to be a sheep – not a goat.  This means that obedience to the Lord Jesus has to be your #1 priority.  You need to live your faith.  God rewards faithfulness with healing and blessings.  The sheep follows the shepherd  and the goat rebels against him.  Be a sheep!

good-and-faithful

And He shall set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left.

Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand,
Come, ye blessed of My Father, i
nherit the kingdom prepared for you
from the foundation of the world:

For I was an hungred, and ye gave Me meat:
I was thirsty, and ye gave Me drink:
I was a stranger, and ye took Me in:

Naked, and ye clothed Me:
I was sick, and ye visited Me:
I was in prison, and ye came unto Me.

Then shall the righteous answer him, saying,
Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee?
or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

When saw we thee a stranger,
and took thee in?
or naked, and clothed thee?

Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison,
and came unto thee?

And the King shall answer and say unto them,
Verily I say unto you,
Inasmuch as ye have done it unto
one of the least of these My brethren,
ye have done it unto Me.

Matthew 25: 33-40


Faith based recovery that is compassionate, empathetic, transformational, non-12 step, without disease theories, individualized, and delivered to you online and by phone – with 24/7 support that continues for life! Please CLICK HERE to remove yourself from the revolving door rehab madness. Get a permanent solution, not a temporary fix. Don’t you deserve that?

Posted in Addiction, Jesus, Salvation, Uncategorized

The End Game

The End Game is the point or reason as to why we do what we do.

When you are involved in something that is so soul wrenching… so lethal… so unpredictable… so enslaving… so painful… and so destructive as addiction is, there must be an end game for you to ‘need a way out’.  I didn’t say ‘want’ a way out, I said ‘need’ a way out.  No one who is in an addiction ‘wants’ a way out… that’s just not possible.  Addiction to drugs/alcohol own your very soul.  An imperfect end game is the reason for failure.  It’s also the reason how the highly funded, sick, sadistic, character assassins – the cult of the 12 steppers – came into being, with their fake disease theories and lying powerless teachings. they have led the Lord’s sheep astray.

I believe that we are all sheep who have gone astray – just as the Lord tell us in the Bible.  Without Jesus Christ, the Good Shepherd, we get into trouble.  More people look to follow rather than lead.  To follow is an innate nature that God placed within our souls so that we follow HIM. Even when we choose to follow a different shepherd, the sheep behavior still ensues. When one sheep moves, the rest will follow, even if it is not a good idea, and even if it gets them killed. The flocking and following instinct of sheep is so strong that it caused the death of 400 sheep in 2006 in eastern Turkey. The sheep plunged to their death after just one of the sheep tried to cross a 49.2 foot deep ravine, and the rest of the flock followed. One by one, they each fell to their death. Even leaders are followers… they engage others to follow in what they follow (or believe). So, in essence, all are followers.

My sheep hear My voice,
and I know them,
and they follow Me.
(John 10:27)

Following the right Shepherd, is the most important decision we ever need to make in our lives!   It’s a matter of following the right Leader or Shepherd.  There is only One true Shepherd.  His name is Jesus and He is the only Messiah of the world. He, and He alone, is my end game… my reason for living…  the missing link that I finally linked back up to… the only one to whom I need to be accountable to. Don’t you have choices as to whom you follow?  Of course you do!  Free will is a gift from God.  He doesn’t force anyone to follow Him.  He wants to be loved based on His own merit, along with your faith. He wants you to love Him purely.

Know ye that the Lord He is God:
it is He that hath made us,
and not we ourselves;
we are His people,
and the sheep of His pasture.
Psalm 100:3

What was my end game when I was struggling to breathe and stay alive on my death bed in the cardiac care unit – after an accidental massive drug overdose?  I was after the assurance I needed of making it to Heaven.  I was ‘at the door’ of death.  I was told I was facing death, as my heart, live and kidneys failed.  I knew, despite the fact that I asked the Lord to save me many years before, I was headed for Hell because of drugs.  We cannot do drugs or alcohol and expect to make it to Heaven.  Addiction screams to God that your choice is not to obey Him… that you want to do it your way.  Your way will never work, and you know that. Please don’t wait until your last few breaths, because you may not have those breaths – your death may be sudden, without warning. Don’t allow your riches to control you and lead you into a place where you think nothing can touch you.  Your riches will not give you eternal life and tomorrow, they could be gone.

Life is truly easy; it’s not hard.  We make it hard because we want to be a sheep and follow our own misdirection rather than follow God.  We are in rebellion.  We are in a world where ‘selfies’ are what’s most important – pure narcissism! We put everything first, before we look to God.  People will look to God when they come to a crossroad where sickness or danger or hopelessness or loss of employment happens or a failed marriage is impending, or a loved one’s death happens, and then they first scream out, GOD – HELP ME!!!.  Don’t wait for that time.  Bring Jesus back into your life today, or invite Him in for the first time.  If you don’t know how to be saved, please CLICK HERE.

As if you didn’t realize it by now, Jesus was, and will always be, my end game.  I want to spend eternity with Him!  He needs to be your God too… your accountability partner… your reason for breathing… your solution to your addiction. He is not just the way, He’s the ONLY WAY!


If you’ve been detoxed and wish to have an alternative non-clinical faith based recovery, please CLICK HERE.  It’s online and by phone – with 24/7 support.  We are certified teachers for the Teen Challenge PSNC program, which has a documented 87.5% success rate.  We also add specialized Christian life coaching and focused Bible studies.  It’s enjoyable and life changing in that it transforms people into a brand new life and to being a brand new creation.  Click to VictoryRetreatMontana.com and find out more.  This is the ministry that was born out of my near death.  Don’t let our name fool you – we’re not just in Montana – we work all over the USA and Canada.