Posted in Addiction, Forgiveness, healing, Jesus, Purpose, Uncategorized

What Can You Say to the Newly Recovered Former Substance Abuser?

Words hold power – to do either good or evil.  When you deliver bad words, life takes a turn for the worse.  When you speak good words, beautiful life changing events happen.  The recovered former substance abuser is extra sensitive during their first year, when the brain is re-setting itself to normal. When you love that person, you need to provide encouragement, forgiveness and a source of hope for them.  No, you’re not responsible for winning or losing in their recovery; however, you ARE responsible for respecting their humanity and showing them that you forgive them.  They need to feel your unconditional love, without placating them or giving them false hopes.  It’s a balance of things that need to work together to help them in a therapeutic and humane way.  We teach that at Victory Retreat Montana online.

The people the recovered former substance abuser comes home to are an integral part in that person’s completed recovery. Through your words to them, along with their observation of your lifestyle that back those words, they learn trust, love, compassion, balance, life skills and hope.  You need to know what ingredients to add that will make the recovery meal super delicious.  In a way it’s like a child learning what they live.  The vulnerable newly recovered former substance abuser is also like a child who need to re-learn life, just as a child does.

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For you newly recovered love one, NEVER…

  • Never call them an ‘addict’; that was then and not now; they are humans like anyone else
  • Never become hostile; hostility breeds rage and resentment
  • Never speak to them in the negative, such as saying things like, ‘don’t’, ‘you’re not’, ‘never’, ‘I prohibit you from’, ‘you can’t’, etc.  All of those negative words cause behaviors that are opposite to what you are demanding.  When you tell someone, ‘don’t, they ‘do’.
  • Never speak words that will dredge up their past. The past is over and done.  No one should ever be defined by their past.
  • Never correct in a negative manner.
  • Never use words of condemnation.
  • Never react in anger.
  • Never cause them to feel invisible; that’s abusive.

For your newly recovered loved one, ALWAYS…

  • Always speak truth in words and in deeds… and follow through with your promises.
  • Always pray for and with your loved one at least once daily and each time a crisis comes up.
  • Always be a source of encouragement. There is always something to respond with encouragement about.
  • Always be there to listen – without judgement.
  • Show unconditional love always.
  • Find something to compliment about your loved one.
  • Deliver words that bring change.
  • Offer words, on a daily basis (or more), that tells them how much they matter.
  • Ask them if they would like to talk about their plans and encourage them.
  • Tell them, in word and in deed, that you are proud of them.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
Proverbs 18:21

 

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Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Opiates, Opioids, Power & Strength, Purpose, Uncategorized

Do You Understand?

We’re in a war.  Addiction is the killer that wants to destroy you.  It’s rampant.  It’s insidious. It’s even promoted and enabled by doctors who you thought you could trust.  It seeks anyone it can.  It overpowers the  young and old, rich and poor, professionals and the uneducated, men and women, children, those in mansions and those who are homeless.  Anyone with breath are it’s victims.  Blink your eyes and it’s already gotten hold of you.

  • For you who are married to a substance abuser, do you understand how and why this happened, and that you can help?
  • For you, parents, do you understand how your child ended up in an addiction, and what you can do about it?
  • For those of you who depend so deeply on a doctor for all of your problems, can you even begin to comprehend the reason why your pain is getting worse and why your health is failing?
  • To you kids, I’m so sorry your parents are using drugs and have seemingly abandoned you and your needs; do you want to know more?
  • To all of you who have a loved one whose personality has radically changed: do you want to know how to tell if it’s because of drugs or alcohol?
  • Are you or your loved one sleeping all the time and you can’t figure out why?
  • Are you, or a loved one, emotionally out of control and being given all of these psychiatric diagnoses that require medications that are making it worse?  Do you want to know why?
  • Have you, or a loved one, become unmotivated and apathetic about work, life and your family?  Want to understand why this could be?
  • Are your prescription drugs for pain, anxiety and depression making you worse, but you’ve convinced yourself that your doctor is always right and would never harm you, so you keep taking them anyway?
  • Does there seem as though there is a dark cloud over you that won’t leave you alone?

stop 9Most people just don’t understand anything about addiction.  Unfortunately, there is a very real stigma associated with it. Many are in denial about it.  Others make a loved one worse because they don’t know anything about enabling.  Some don’t recognize the signs of addiction until they find their loved one blue and dead from an overdose one morning.  There are those who are so lost in an addiction that they can no longer help themselves, so they need to be rescued.  There are enablers out there who think that feeding their loved one will keep them from using again or that, without giving money, they will end up on the streets and die.

Addiction affects EVERYONE!  You either are in an addiction or you have a friend or loved one who is.  You may know someone who overdosed and died.  We need to work together to STOP & PREVENT addition.  Most of all, we need to eliminate the stigma associated with it.  The answer and the solution is God… Jesus Christ.  Laugh at me… mock me… tell me I need to get a life; however, I’m right!  Our ministry in addiction and recovery has proven I’m right.  The Lord saved my life from certain death in 2007 and healed me.  I have never struggled.  My addiction is in my past and does not affect my life in any way except for the good.  I appreciate and love each day because I’m free.  I never take my freedom and healing for granted.  Our ministry works with people to recovery and, soon, we will have an faith based, NON-12 Step healing drug & alcohol rehab up and running here in Montana.

When the current rehab system isn’t working, and more people are dying at a higher rate than ever, continuing in the same way is insanity, isn’t it?  Why do what isn’t working over and over again.  We came up with something miraculously different!  People actually get healed and have new lives.  No one has to do ‘steps’ for the rest of their lives!  That, in itself is bondage.  We get people out of bondage and into freedom.

If you want to have a talk, we’re here for you.  Just go to our contact page and reach out to us.  We just may be able to help.  The talk is FREE.

Posted in Addiction, Forgiveness, healing, Purpose, recovery, rehab, Uncategorized

Is Your Loved One Coming Home to His or Her Past, or Will it be their Present and Future?

One of the reasons why we work with families, is because addiction is a family problem that has a family solution.  Without knowing it, family members can destroy someone’s recovery process by refusing to see them as a new person.  Typically, spouses, children, parents and others close to the recovering person, will constantly make mention of what that person once was and the bad things they did – not acknowledging their courage and strength during their brave fight to be delivered from the ugly, dark and demonic claws of addiction.

When people graduate from Victory Retreat Montana’s virtual recovery program, the family is well coached on how to welcome their loved one back into their lives and their homes.  The graduate is also prepared to overcome any obstacles that may present themselves upon their return home.  Most rehabs don’t do this.  They send the graduate of their program back into their former life, with all the problems they left there.  No one knows how to communicate, much less provide the necessary encouragement and recovery tools to fuel their loved one in a positive direction.

Are you a new graduate?  Need faith based Recovery?  Looking for answers? Are you the family of a loved one who suffered in an addiction and don’t know what to do or where to turn?  Please contact us below, or go to Victory Retreat Montana and learn more of what we do and how we can help.

 

Posted in Addiction, Purpose, recovery, Signs of Addiction, Uncategorized

Shutting Down?

sad-womanHave you been told that you have no feelings… no remorse… no confidence… no hope… no peace?  Have those same people told you that you appear to be an angry, enraged person?  Have you been confused as to these accusations because you know that’s not who you are?  Have you actually be tagged a psychopath or a sociopath by those close to you?  Well, these types of people do exist in the forms of psychopaths, sociopaths and those with personality disorders; however, these ‘symptoms’ can exist with a completely normal person who has been deeply broken by people and experiences.

There comes a point when the mind just shuts down because it can’t take any more abuse.  It’s at that time when people tend to unplug and spiral out of control.  Can an appliance function when you pull the plug or remove its batteries?  Many, at that time, find an addiction that they think will carry them away to that beautiful and fragrant field of wildflowers where they can run free and become unscathed by the world’s evils and hurts.  We all know that a place like that doesn’t exist except in the place of our imaginations.  It’s the place of escape that holds us hostage until we can no longer function or feel anything. It’s at that point when addiction redefines you and you become someone else.  The addiction could be prescription drugs, illegal drugs, alcohol, porn, adulterous activities, shopping, gambling, gaming, TV, physical habits, isolating, too much partying, working long hours, etc.  By ‘addiction’, I’m talking about anything that takes you away from living a normal, healthy life.

Can this happen to a Christian believer in Jesus Christ… a born again child of the Living God?  Yes, it can, IF you take your eyes off your heavenly prize and back to the ways of the world.  It’s like watching the scenery while you’re driving will take you off the road and probably will get you into an accident that will harm you or someone else – or both.  So, when you take your eyes off the Lord Jesus Christ, you will begin your destructive spiral down.   This will lead to the breakdown of your life and addiction.

Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.

Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.

Proverbs 4:26-27


Need truly affordable help in recovery? Want a permanent solution for addiction? Don’t want to do ‘steps’ or ‘sponsors’, or be told that you have a (theorized) disease? Resent being called an ‘addict’ – even when you’re past your addiction? Want your recovery to remain private, be compassionate, and individualized just for you? Want a faith based solution? Would you like to recover from the privacy of your home or office? Don’t want recovery to interfere in your activities of daily living? A FREE, no obligation, 30 minute conversation by phone is waiting for you; however, for those who truly cannot afford our program and can demonstrate their need with verifiable documentation, the program is given FREE. Please CLICK HERE!
As a registered non profit corporation, we’re currently working hard to obtain grants, donations and funding so that we can provide you with a totally FREE program – if you are unable to afford our low cost.

 

Posted in Addiction, Fear, Power & Strength, Purpose, recovery, Salvation, Uncategorized

From Thin to Thick Skin?

Definition of Vulnerable:

  • capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon
    a vulnerable part of the body.
  • open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.
  • (of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend

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We all have one or more points of vulnerability.  If you say you don’t, you’re either lying to yourself or to someone else.  As tags go, some of us claim to be thick skinned, while others of us claim to be thin skinned.  No one is one or the other.  We’re all composed of a little of each because of our innate human vulnerabilities.  I know that if hadn’t been so vulnerable, I probably would never have ended up in an addiction.  It’s those vulnerabilities that makes us want to hide… to run… to be overwhelmed… to use those substances in our bodies that seem to take us away.  I know when I used, I felt numb. When I felt numb, I couldn’t feel those things that thinned out my skin.  It was only a very temporary ‘happy place’ that took me down a path of darkness that I don’t wish on anyone.

Isn’t is our vulnerabilities that make us who we are?  I believe that’s so, except when we allow those vulnerabilities to overtake us.  We truly need to grab hold of them and make them work in our favor.  Never allow yourself to feel helpless or powerless.  In 2 Corinthians 12:10, Paul the apostle, amidst talking about some of the perils he had been through, says, “when I am weak, then am I strong”.  What he’s saying is that when he hits his times of distress or helplessness (vulnerability), His faith in Jesus takes over and brings him to victory!  Those are the times when we cry out to God!  If you have received Jesus – and are walking in His ways – not your own,  you can cry out to Him and immediately gain the strength you need to endure and win!  Don’t let anyone fool you; sometimes you need to go through some tough times in order to get through.  Those tough times are tests of endurance.  You just need to understand that the Lord will hold your hands every step of the way.  He did it for me during the most horrific times of my life; He’ll do it for you.  Never allow yourself to question why… that’s a waste of time.  Just praise God that He will bring you the victory along with the strength to get through.  Through each and every trial I’ve been through, I gained His strength, endurance and unwavering faith.  I wouldn’t be the woman of faith that I am today had it not been for all that I went through.  If you keep up with my blog, you may know some of the trials I endured.

Just always remember that Jesus is right there – at your side and within your soul. His gift to you of His Holy Spirit is God Himself  within you.  The Holy Spirit is no less God and Power than is Jesus or our Father.  As long as you’re His, know that winning, strength  and victory are a done deal!  Sometimes trials take time; all you need to do is to see Him during those storms.  Always, keep of visual of our Mighty King on His throne before your eyes. Train your mind to do that.  Never let go of that vision.  You’ll soon find that your vulnerabilities – whatever they may be – will melt into strength and will never hurt you again.  You’ll be able to stop running away and enjoy the rest.

Don’t know Jesus?  CLICK HERE to find out how to receive His salvation.  Victory in this life, and eternity in the next one, awaits!  No one knows when death will come.  For some, it’s at the ripe old age of 95, for others, it’s at 5 years old!  Many times, death comes when people are perfectly healthy and enjoying life.  Don’t be unprepared.  Your soul is eternal and eternity is far too important to put this decision off another moment.

In all these things we are more than conquerors
through Him that loved us.
Romans 8:37

You are never helpless.  You are never alone.  You don’t have to fight your battles by yourself.  It’s not about the people around you – it’s about God within you!  Never forget Him.

“Fear not, for I Am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I Am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you
with My righteous Right Hand.”
Isaiah 41:10


Faith based recovery that is compassionate, empathetic, transformational, non-12 step, without disease theories, individualized, and delivered to you online and by phone – with 24/7 support for life! Please CLICK HERE.

Posted in Addiction, Purpose, recovery, Sacrifice, suffering, Uncategorized

Sacrifice

Definition of sacrifice:  

sacrifice is a loss or something you give up, usually for the sake of a better cause. 

For me to have been able to achieve complete healing of addiction – back in 2007, to date, and for the rest of my life –  I had to SACRIFICE.  Anyone who comes to know the Lord must sacrifice.  It could be the sacrifice of a lifestyle… a boyfriend or girlfriend… a job… friends… a home town… family… children… parents… activities… books… movies… TV… social events… secular schooling… music…

My Own Biggest Sacrifice   

living-sacrifices

Whatever or whoever it is that does not align with the Word of God is something that needs to be sacrificed in order for your final destination to be Heaven.  When I was in detox – fighting for my life – my younger daughter told me that if I didn’t go to a 12 steps rehab for 6 months, that she would never talk to me… that I would never attend her wedding… that I would never meet her children when or if she had any… and that she would never be there for me.    She made these threats knowing that I trusted Jesus – and Him alone.  That daughter kept her promise!  She contacted me after her declaration of not speaking to me ever again, telling me that she needed a relationship with me of sorts.  Of course, I (joyfully) accepted her back into my life.  Nothing could ever stop me from loving my children; however, she wouldn’t ‘allow’ me to talk about Jesus and I had to have a relationship with her – HER way, not God’s way.  We continued for several years to have ‘controlled’ talks (under her control) until the Lord spoke to me about having to resume sharing Jesus with her, as her soul was (and is) in jeopardy.  She  is so opposed to God… even to the point of permanently marking up her body with two huge tattoos that are 100% Satanic.  One of the two tattoos was an upside down cross – a definite Satanic symbol!   Her evil was SO profound that my other (also apostate) daughter doesn’t ever want her near her children!  She is an amazing vocalist and songwriter; however, she writes music AGAINST Christianity and Jesus Christ.  I had to sacrific my daughter because I refused to stop talking about my faith to her.  Although I reached out to her many times, she has never returned my emails, voicemails, or texts.  She has made her decision… a decision that will affect her eternity.  My older daughter last spoke to me – over 2 years ago – when my husband and I sent our little grandchildren 3 adorable kids’ videos, at Christmas time, about the love and salvation of Jesus the Messiah.  We researched these videos to make sure that they would be enjoyed.  My daughter wouldn’t acknowledge the gifts we sent and never spoke to me again.  Despite attempts to reconnect, she refused.  She took our grandchildren away from us and, far worse, she took our grandchildrens’ grandparents away from them.  I had to sacrifice my daughter and grandchildren.  Both of my children made their decisions and both of them will suffer in eternity unless they repent; that will be their ‘sacrifice’ for sin.

Yes, there have been many other sacrifices I have had to make for my faith.  I thought I’d share the above with you due to the nature of the depth of the sacrifice, and to show you that joy and peace come with sacrifice.  My walk with Jesus Christ is the most important aspect of my life to me, and should be to you as well.  After all, Jesus sacrificed His life for us!!!  That’s the biggest sacrifice anyone can make – especially for God Himself.  When you sacrifice for Jesus – you will be FREE!  If you compromise, you will wake up in Hell.  Be Heaven bound!  Your soul is too important; it’s the only thing you take with you when you die.  Our lives, and all things and people that compose are lives, must be ready to be sacrifice.


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Need truly affordable help in recovery? Want a permanent solution for addiction? Don’t want to do ‘steps’ or be told that you have a (theorized) disease? Resent being called an ‘addict’ – even when you’re past your addiction? Want your recovery to remain private, be compassionate, and individualized just for you? Want a faith based solution? Would you like to recover from the privacy of your home or office? Don’t want recovery to interfere in your activities of daily living? A FREE, no obligation, 30 minute conversation by phone is waiting for you. Please CLICK HERE!
As a registered non profit corporation, we’re currently working hard to obtain grants, donations and funding so that we can provide you with a totally FREE program, if you are unable to afford our low cost.

 

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Purpose, suffering, Uncategorized

Regrets

I am talking about regrets today – not because I know more than you do, or because I am better than you are – but because of what my experiences in life have taught me.  The lessons I have been taught are ones that you can take or leave; however, I hope you take them because they are Godly and just may spare you many ‘regrets’.

First, let’s define the word, regrets.   According to the dictionary, it means the following:

  • to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.)
  • to think of with a sense of loss

Regrets need to be felt for the moment and then let go.  If feeling regrets last for more than moments, they will cause terrible emotional trauma.  That trauma can lead to depression, self-doubt, lower self-esteem, anxiety and despair. Those five elements I just mentioned, all too often, are the common thread found in those who become involved in addiction.  Emotional pain is something people think they need to run away from, rather than work through.

Regrets cannot be avoided; we’re mere humans with way too many frailties.  They should never be given permission to stay with you.  The hurts of your past should be taken over by the lessons they offered you – not the ongoing pain.  Never allow your past to meet your present and future.  Regrets will paralyze you if you allow them.  First, feel the regrets.  Then, we need to work through them – not around them.  Voila!  A new life lesson is born to guide your today and your tomorrow!  As long as we learn to do it differently the next time, it becomes a welcome lesson – not something to beat yourself up about.

How did I bury all of the regrets that I had?  I’ll tell you.  It is strictly a change of mindset… AND by the grace of GOD!  I used to drug and drink to run from my own mistakes.  For decades, I thought I was a true believer in Jesus Christ, as I popped those pills and drank my scotch.  I fell into deep despair and couldn’t understand why Jesus wasn’t fishing me out of the torturous net of depression that I was entangled in.  Later on, in 2007, I learned why.  It was because I was deep in sin with drugs, and the behaviors they produced in me.  Make no mistake, sin prevents God from working in us.  It leads to no place that’s good.  Don’t be troubled with the word, ‘sin’.  It simply means behaviors or thoughts that are contrary to God’s commands.  In one word, it’s rebellion.  Ask the Lord to forgive you, and then forgive yourself.

I have learned, from all the years up until 2007 – when God set me free of addiction – that I am in the process of being perfected by my faith by God.  He guides me in words and actions.  I put His Word into my heart and pray, each day, for Jesus to be my eyes, my ears, my mind, my thoughts, my words and my actions.  Do I make mistakes?  Of course; however, I repent quickly and learn how to do it differently the next time, so that my mistakes never again turn into regrets.

1 John 1:9:

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins

and purify us from all unrighteousness”

For the Lord’s wisdom, we need to humble ourselves before God, knowing that doing it our own way doesn’t work.  It’s only God’s way that brings us to Heaven in eternity. Seek Him!

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Faith based personalized Christian recovery – by phone and online, with 24/7 support – is available HERE.

Posted in Addiction, Prescription Drug Addiction, Purpose, recovered, recovery, Recovery to being Recovered, Uncategorized

What ‘IF’ You Could Return to That Moment When Your Addiction Began?

No one should be doing the ‘what if’ dance; however, deep reflection on the past is healthy and tells us, ‘don’t go there again’.  We are the culmination of all that we have done – good and bad.  Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose”.

Go back to that moment, when you took your first pill… accepted a dangerous prescription from your doctor… trusted your doctor that he/she was giving you a ‘safe’ drug… purchased drugs off a street dealer or got them from a friend… drank for the first time… or other encounter.  Did you research what you were doing BEFORE you did it, or did you just do it?  Were you in a vulnerable time when you would have done anything to take away the physical or emotional pain?  Did you think your answers could come from some drug or alcohol and not your heart and God?  Do you have regrets?

When we understand the ‘why’, then we can figure out the fix.  The fix is Jesus Christ – the One who created you and knows you better than anyone.  “Ask and you shall receive.”  You must, however, receive Jesus first.  Just go to my ‘Free Gift’ tab (or just CLICK HERE)  and you can learn how to receive Him and heal for life.  It’s that simple!  Don’t make complicated what is so easy. Run to your Heavenly Father for all of your answers.


Faith Based Compassionate Online Recovery – CLICK HERE.

Posted in Addiction, Purpose, Uncategorized

A Behavioral Choice is NOT a Disease!

Yeshua woman jan 21

My addiction ended over 11 years ago and my only thoughts about it are filled with powerful ongoing gratitude to Jesus Christ for rescuing me, and for Him giving me my ministry of leading others on the holy road to the end of their recovery.  Yes… recovery ends and life begins – fresh and new.  I have no day to day struggle as the 12 Steppers brainwash people into believing.  Addiction is NOT a disease.  My day to day struggle existed only when I was in my addiction – not after it ended.  When the Lord let His Glory and mercy fall on me, my addiction – with all it’s struggles – was over and done.  On May 10, 2007, I awakened to a brand new life with addiction left buried in my past – where it belongs.  Always remember that addiction being a disease was a theory devised by two dysfunctional addicts who founded the 12 Steps.  When they were never able to end their own addictions, they theorized that it must be a disease.  The disease theory has never been proven… can’t be proven… and goes against everything that Jesus Christ stands for.  I, along with many others, am living proof that addiction is a choice made from our sinful nature.  I was once trying to escape life through drugs and alcohol; now, I’m am living it to the fullest!

Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. (John 8:34)


Full recovery is unquestionably possible.  Join our faith based compassionate personalized  recovery program that is administered one on one and online with 24/7 support.  CLICK HERE.

Posted in Addiction, Paying it Forward, Purpose, recovered, recovery, Uncategorized

Why Pay it Forward?

But do not forget to do good and to share,
for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.
Hebrews 13:16

If you’ve never paid it forward with acts of kindness, then it’s impossible for you to know what it does to your soul and the people you help.  You need to try it!   With the deep, dark storms that we have to pass through in this life, it’s nice to know that someone else has ‘been there, done that’, and is willing to help you through.  It doesn’t take much.  Sometimes, all it takes is a kind word; other times, it takes a lot more.  You cannot measure it; it just unfolds.
pay it forward2

In my ministry, we help people recover from addiction through discipleship, Bible teaching, and coaching.  We also make paying it forward part of our program because it brings self-esteem and joy.  I remember having a client who had been recovering from a cocaine addiction.  We’ll call her ‘Jane’ to protect her identity.  She was fresh out of her addiction and we were walking and working together on her road to recovery.  She was so angry when I told her that she needed to find a way of giving back right away.  She fed me every reason on earth why not to… she lived too far from places where she could donate her time… it was too much trouble right now.. she was the one who needed help so she couldn’t help anyone else… and the excuses went on and on.  I told her that I couldn’t continue helping her unless she found just one way that she could donate her time to help someone else.  I said that this is how God works and we need to act on it – in faith.  Reluctantly, she scanned her neighborhood and found a little nearby church that, once a week,  gave food (and a variety of other necessities) away to those who were in need, so she grudgingly volunteered.  Jane excitedly called me the very next day and was talking at 100 miles per hour about how beautiful her experience had been and how much she loved helping.  She was the only volunteer who stayed until after midnight in order to talk and minister to the people she had served.  Her self worth and joy soared and her paying it forward began, along with her full recovery.

Our purpose here on earth has already been designated by our God.  He fashioned us in His image to do very specific work that only we can do.  He made it so that we would meet certain people and have unique events happen that would both change our lives for the good as well as others.  We just need to plug into that purpose by taking action.  By so doing, our joy level goes up because we are pleasing God.  Happiness comes and goes, but joy lasts forever.

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2