Posted in Addiction, healing, Idolatry, Power & Strength, recovery, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

I Believe! Do You?

Faith is a big deal with the Lord.  With God and faith, the Bible says all things are possible.  The Bible says that we need to come to Him with a child’s faith.  You know how kids will believe anything you tell them?  We have to be the same.  It’s blind faith – the type of faith reserved only for God.

Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He Is, and that He Is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Hebrews 11:6

I love to recall the day, on March 22, 2007, when I was on a gurney in the ER, waiting to be transferred to another hospital for emergency intervention in the cardiac care unit and then, if I were to survive, to be detoxed.  I was experiencing a massive accidental overdose and not expected to survive.  My liver was failing… my kidneys were almost completely shut down… and my heart was beating very irregularly as it pounded in my chest.  My potassium level bottomed out completely so that my heartbeats couldn’t be supported.  I never felt sicker; I don’t think anyone could feel worse than I did back on that day. With all this going on, for a few hours I felt really scared, alone and hopeless.  I figured I would just wait it out until my death.  Then, it happened!  It was a pivotal moment!. I heard a newborn baby crying as he or she was entering this world for the very first time.  This new little life was being born just a few feet away from me.  Usually, when a life comes in, another one goes out; however, this time it wasn’t going to be me who was going out.  Jesus let me know, at that very moment, that I would defy all odds… that He would allow me to live through all of this… that my miracle was on it’s way.  So, instead of waiting to die, I waited to live.  This was the same Jesus who I betrayed by my drug addiction.  His love for me (and all of you) is so great… so unconditional… so righteous… so pure… that He never gives up on us!  Who do you know like that?  As long as you still have love in your heart for Him, and the desire to do your life His way, He won’t ever leave you.

The rest of my story is found in the first several posts on this blog, so I won’t repeat it.  My point is that whether it’s the total healing of addiction, or anything else, God will do it – according to your faith.  In His hometown of Nazareth, He could do not healing because no one would believe that He was the Messiah.  They saw Him only as Joseph’s Son, so they figured there was no way the He was the Christ!  Once Jesus traveled around to neighboring towns, it became a completely different story; EVERYONE was healed, delivered from demonic possession (mental illnesses) and many were even raised from the dead.  Since the Bible says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever”, do you not know that He will heal you?

My ongoing impossible dream is to have an IV infusion of faith… one that I can insert in a vein and run it through so that I can give them the faith to believe.  YOU have to find a way to receive and keep your own faith.  It comes with getting the Word of God into your heart and mind by reading your Bible daily and fellowshipping with true born again believers. Above that, PRAISE HIM!  “He inhabits the praises of His people”.

Yeshua broken chainI

f you need a faith infusion in your addiction recovery, CLICK HERE.  Jesus doesn’t make you count days, He makes your days count!  He’ll never make you do (12) steps, you only need to follow in His steps.  He causes recovery to end in you being fully recovered without a lifetime of struggle.

Posted in Addiction, Fear, Power & Strength, recovery, rehab, Salvation, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

The Psalm for the Addicted

This Psalm, Psalm 31, is one for the addicted person to read and own.  It was categorized as such by Rev David Wilkerson who went to be with the Lord.  He was (and still is) my hero and mentor. As a matter of fact, I became a certified Teen Challenge PSNC teacher in my recovery ministry because of him, his anointed wisdom from God and his solid teachings about addiction and the cure.

If you’re hurting, this one’s for YOU!

good-cry-960x5401In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness.

Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me.

For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.

Pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for thou art my strength.

Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O Lord God of truth.

I have hated them that regard lying vanities: but I trust in the Lord.

I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities;

And hast not shut me up into the hand of the enemy: thou hast set my feet in a large room.

Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly.

For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed.

I was a reproach among all mine enemies, but especially among my neighbours, and a fear to mine acquaintance: they that did see me without fled from me.

I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel.

For I have heard the slander of many: fear was on every side: while they took counsel together against me, they devised to take away my life.

But I trusted in thee, O Lord: I said, Thou art my God.

My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me.

Make thy face to shine upon thy servant: save me for thy mercies’ sake.

Let me not be ashamed, O Lord; for I have called upon thee: let the wicked be ashamed, and let them be silent in the grave.

Let the lying lips be put to silence; which speak grievous things proudly and contemptuously against the righteous.

Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!

Thou shalt hide them in the secret of thy presence from the pride of man: thou shalt keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues.

Blessed be the Lord: for he hath shewed me his marvellous kindness in a strong city.

For I said in my haste, I am cut off from before thine eyes: nevertheless thou heardest the voice of my supplications when I cried unto thee.

O love the Lord, all ye his saints: for the Lord preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer.

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.

Need truly affordable help in recovery? Want a permanent solution for addiction? Don’t want to do ‘steps’ or be told that you have a (theorized) disease? Resent being called an ‘addict’ – even when you’re past your addiction? Want your recovery to remain private, be compassionate, and individualized just for you? Want a faith based solution? Would you like to recover from the privacy of your home or office? Don’t want recovery to interfere in your activities of daily living? A FREE, no obligation, 30 minute conversation by phone is waiting for you; however, for those who truly cannot afford our program and can demonstrate their need with verifiable documentation, the program is given FREE. Please CLICK HERE!
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Posted in Accidental Overdose, Benzodiazepines, Opiates, Opioids, Prescription Drug Addiction, recovery, suffering, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

C’mon… There’s Got to be an UpSide to Opioids, Benzos, Hypnotics and Psychiatric Drugs… right?

overdose 7

There is NO UPSIDE.  They will lethally bite you back – suddenly – when you least expect it – in more horrific and unmerciful ways that you ever thought possible!  If you haven’t started, don’t!  If you take benzos, opioids, hypnotics (sleeping pills) or psychiatric drugs, get professional help TODAY with medically supervised detox.  I don’t care who you are, do NOT detox yourself or the bite will be far worse than you could ever imagine!  Unless you’ve been there, you’re clueless. It takes just one tiny pill.  I know.  I’ve spoken with too many people whose loved ones just took one dose and died.  Some were teens.  I was beyond blessed to have lived through it.



Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Opiates, Opioids, Prescription Drug Addiction, recovery, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

A Word to Those of You Taking Benzos, Opioids, and Psychiatric Medications

No matter what I say here today, NEVER NEVER NEVER discontinue these types of medications on your own OR try to detox yourself.  If you do, you are putting yourself in extreme harm’s way.  Even addicted doctors should never do this on their own.  Detoxing must be medically supervised in order to be safe.  These types of drugs are loose canons – UNPREDICTABLE.  I don’t care how smart or clever you think you are, do NOT attempt this on your own.  If you do, you are not a smart or balanced individual, which is probably because you are under the spell of these dangerous medications.  Included, but not limited to, results of detoxing yourself are: seizures, heart attack, psychosis, delusions, severe depression, hallucinations, stroke and death.

So, why do you need to detox.  After stating the above, it’s not rocket science.  While these drugs ‘appear’ to partially resolve some psychiatric issues, they cause side effects that override any temporary benefits.  The side effects include making worse the symptoms of the original problem for which you took them for.  The addiction they all cause all lead to horrific withdrawal, which it a nightmare all it’s own.  People taking hypnotics (sleeping pills) find that they can no longer sleep and require dangerously higher dosages which can lead to death.  Painkillers, after a short time, will cause an exacerbation of pain.  Tranquilizers (benzos) will cause agitation, severe muscle cramping, depression and psychosis.  Antidepressants cause worsening depression.  ALL of these drugs can cause strange behaviors, suicide and homicide.

The following are 12 shocking facts about the dangers of psychiatric drugs.  Please become familiar with them.

1. No Physical Test Can Prove the Existence of a “Mental Disorder”

No blood, urine, or chemical imbalance exam can test for the presence of a mental disease or illness. Even x-rays or brain scans can’t show the presence of a “mental disorder.”  This leads many to believe that healthy patients have a great possibility of being diagnosed with supposed “disorders” even if they are only displaying minor symptoms. Many of these symptoms include stress and difficulty concentrating — issues that can often be chalked up as a natural response to everyday stress. I, along with many Bible believing Christians, know that there is no such thing as ‘mental illness’ – there is demonic possession and oppression.

2. The Psychiatric Industry is a $330 Billion Industry

That’s a huge number and many forces are at work to preserve and grow it. While most physicians are not mercenary in their approach to prescribing medications, there is an argument to be made for the possibility of a conflict of interest when it comes to the rise of psychiatric prescriptions.

3. Worldwide, Over 100 Million People Take Psychiatric Drugs

That seems like an astoundingly high number. What’s going on that so many among us feel the need to be medicated?

4. U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs: 23 Soldiers and Vets Commit Suicide Every Day

The most shocking part of this statistic is that it exists despite the use of antidepressants. These suicides are often due to post-traumatic stress disorder coupled with the inability to cope with civilian life. So far, the solution has just been more psychiatric drugs.

5. Worldwide, 17 Million Children Take Psychiatric Drugs

To say that this is a dangerous epidemic is an understatement. Regulatory agencies in Europe, Australia, and the United States have issued warnings about the potential for anti-depressants to cause suicide or hostility and rage.

6. 10 Million of These Kids are in the United States

That means the United States has 30% more children than the rest of the world on addictive stimulants, antidepressants, and other mind-altering drugs. That’s not a number one position to be proud of.

7. FDA Warnings Have Been Issued for Ritalin and Concerta

And they aren’t alone, and other psychiatric stimulants have had similar warnings issued for their effects on children.  What’s the problem? Well, for starters, these drugs may cause psychotic behavior, heart attack, stroke and sudden death. If that’s not enough, add suicidal thoughts and inclinations toward violent behavior to the list.

8. Antidepressants Come With a Warning Label

In 2004, the FDA finally ordered a “black box” label on all antidepressants to warn of psychiatric drugs’ increasing suicide risk in children and adolescents. Being an adult, however, doesn’t guarantee safety. In 2006, the FDA increased the age to include young adults up to age of 25.

9. Children Five and Under Are the Fastest Growing Group Being Prescribed Antidepressants

Think of all the kids under five you know — they’re the target for these drugs. [10] Now picture this, from 1995-1999, antidepressant use increased 580% in ages 6 years and younger. It grew 151% in the 7-12 age group during the same time period. [11] Without action, it’s only going to go up from there. Do you think children should take these drugs? Watch this video and decide for yourself…

10. 10% of Teens Abuse Ritalin and Adderall

That’s according to a U.S. news report. No surprise, these drugs have a tendency to be highly addictive.  Unfortunately, because kids are prescribed these drugs en masse, availability isn’t much of an issue and they don’t need to head over to skid row to pick this stuff up.

11. General Physicians Prescribe 70% of Psychotropic Drugs

No offense to family practice physicians, but should they be the ones prescribing the majority of these mind medicines? Pragmatically, this statistic literally means that a majority of these drugs get used without a psychiatric evaluation to determine if they’re necessary, appropriate, or safe.

12. Some Reports Show Antidepressants are No Better than Placebo

While published reports do show 94% effectiveness, taking a look at the total reports submitted to the FDA, only 50% reported positive outcomes. That being said, around 50% of patients would be better off taking a placebo. In addition, 31% of the 74 FDA-registered studies have never been published.  Sound like a complicated number soup yet? It is, a 2009 analysis showed traditional pharmaceutical drugs yield inconsistent results.

A Final Thought…

While not everyone will succumb to the negative effects of psychiatric drugs, the risk of negative side effects cannot be ignored and should absolutely be thoroughly discussed and understood. In some cases, natural remedies for mood support may be a viable option. If you want to learn more about this insanity? You have to watch this video…

The Marketing of Madness: The Truth About Psychotropic Drugs

YouTube Video

Did any of these facts surprise you? Do you have an experience with psychiatric drugs?

Portions of this article were taken from HERE.

After detox, there is a faith based, extremely affordable, individualized, and compassionate recovery program that you can attend from the comfort of your home or office.  Please CLICK HERE to learn more.


Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Anxiety, Benzodiazepines, Opioids, recovered, recovery, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

I Traded the World, its Blood Sucking Shrinks, its Dangerous Meds & Never-ending Recovery for Jesus Christ and 100% Total Healing for a Lifetime

Since 2007, I haven’t needed or wanted the world’s answers to addiction. To put it mildly, the world has no answers.  All they do is tell you it’s some (theorized) disease and that you’ll never recover.  What kind of ridiculous theory is that?  Where’s the hope? It only leads you down a slippery slope of revolving door rehabs, shrinks and their dangerous psychiatric medications, multiple mental diagnoses (again, fictitious), and ongoing failures that lead to self doubt, disability and low self-esteem.  I am a child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords – Jesus Christ. He suffered and died for me (and you) during a grizzly crucifixion, as a sacrifice for my sins so that I could be set FREE from sin and Satan’s power.  Faith, unless it’s put in action, is not faith at all, so I made the choice to live my faith for the first time back n May 10th of 2007… the day I left detox.

Therefore if the Son sets you FREE,  you shall be FREE indeed.”

John 8:36 – The Bible


For those of you who haven’t yet read or heard my story, you don’t know my background.  In a nutshell, from age 11 through most of my adult years (except for the past 11 glorious FREE & HAPPY years), nefarious doctors fed me all kinds of dangerous psychiatric medications, opioids, benzodiazepines, etc, in order to placate me for my complaints of chronic pain and resulting stress to my life. As soon as they gave me a new medication, there were new problems that ended up being misdiagnosed side effects of the meds.  It was as though I was thrown off the tallest mountain and I just kept falling, without ever landing.  In March of 2007, that landing was my near death experience… a massive accidental overdose that could have easily been prevented by never prescribing what they did… a crash and burn that I wish on no one!

My point in this post, is to tell you that Jesus Christ is your one and only answer to addiction.  If you have received Him, and you are truly saved, you can access your freedom today – right now.  If you’re not saved because you don’t yet know Jesus, you need Him.  He is the Creator of all things and He created you!  He is able to fix what you messed up.  He puts us back together, better than before.  He heals!  He delivers!  He is faithful!  He will never leave you, forsake you, or disappoint you.  Make Him yours!

If you’re finding yourself in the web of deception created by rehabs and doctors, please contact me and we can talk.  I went through quite a lot of darkness until I found the Light, so I learned a few things along the way that may help you.  The facts are:

  • Jesus can heal you for a lifetime
  • Your faith will make you whole
  • But to you who fear my name shall the sun of righteousness arise with healing in its wings. (Malachi 4:2)
  • ‘Relapse’ is just another term for doctors and facilities saying, ‘Give me your money’
  • Don’t take those ’12 Steps’ to Hell

Individualized, affordable, faith based, and compassionate virtual recovery  – by phone & online with 24/7 support.  Click to Victory Retreat Montana for more info. We lead you on your personal road to total healing.

Posted in Accidental Overdose, Benzodiazepines, Prescription Drug Addiction, recovery, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

The question, should I stay (in addiction) or should I go, was never a consideration for me over 11 years ago… at least not until withdrawal became so bad that it nearly killed me.  For all the years of my former addiction, I never even gave a thought to whether I was addicted or not… it never came up in the dumbed down former mind of mine in those days.  It’s strange what drugs do to your head.  I believe that there is a spiritual aspect to drugs and that they have the ability to literally possess you.  They cause you to focus on only them and nothing or no one else.  If you’re a Christian, they even take God out of the equation of your life and put Him on the back burner.

giphyMy (unscrupulous) doctors all told me that I needed the lethal cocktail that they gave me.  As a nurse, it was embedded in me to never question them.  They knew best… or did they?  I never realized that I was handed all of those nasty prescriptions so that I would become addicted to be a cash cow for my doctors.  For review, to those of you who don’t follow my blog, I was given prescriptions for the following drugs by one medical practice of two doctors who both saw what the other one was prescribing: hydrocodone, soma, percocet, norco, morphine, codeine, methadone, oxycontin, fentanyl tablets, fentanyl patches, an ever-changing antidpressant, and Ativan.  When I got well from my ‘crash and burn’,  a coma and a near death experience,  the attending doctors and all the staff at the hospital kept telling me that they couldn’t believe I was alive and well.  I told them that it was Jesus who rescued me – not them.

Getting back to the topic at hand.  Oftentimes, you don’t realize you’re addicted – you don’t even think about it.  All you think about is your next high and not getting sick in withdrawal.  I’m asking you right now to think about your addiction please.  Consider the cost.  Try hard to stay in the moment of lucidity. One thing about people who ‘use’ is that lucidity comes in rare fleeting moments – if at all.  The drug takes over your mind and prevents you from thinking; however, you CAN if you try hard and pray even harder.  After all, we both know that the way you’re living isn’t enjoyable, is it?  Of course not!  Fear is what is keeping you from getting well, not enjoyment.  No one enjoys addiction; it’s pure bondage and no one wants to be in chains.

You can’t run and you can’t hide from drugs or alcohol.  Addiction is ever-present until the day you make the choice to leave it behind.  Yes, it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do, but you WILL get through it and you’ll finally have the life God gave you, with the purpose you were created for.  Please get help today and don’t do it on your own because it’s far too dangerous and you could die.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

(Psalm 147:3)

Faith based super affordable compassionate recovery by phone and online, with 24/7 support.  Give us a try by clicking here.

Posted in Addiction, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

Addiction Makes You Vulnerable to ANYTHING, ANYONE & EVERYTHING!

When you’re on drugs, you become weak in mind, body and thought.  I include alcohol as a drug as well, as alcohol can also be a toxic substance in excess.  You become unbalanced, unable to make the right decisions, and uncaring.  Life is blurred and boundaries seem to disappear.  The drugs take over and put you into a somewhat hypnotic state.  Apathy sets in.  Your entire world is focused on your next high and not getting sick from withdrawal.  What a way to live.  I know, because I lived like that for too many years.  I didn’t even realize how unbalanced I had become because nothing else mattered but my drugs.  When you’re in that world, you don’t even know it. It’s a web of deception.  You hurt people you love but don’t realize it.  You do things you normally never would.  You mind no longer is able to process reason.

If you are on any type of drugs (prescription drugs, illegal drugs or alcohol), the above description will describe you as well.  If it doesn’t now, it certainly will soon.  According to Scripture, drugs and alcohol come under the definition of ‘pharmakeia’.  The word pharmakeia is defined as the following:

  • the use or the administering of drugs
  • poisoning
  • sorcery, magical arts, often found in connection with idolatry and fostered by it
  • metaph. the deceptions and seductions of idolatry

This is pretty serious to your spiritual, physical and mental health.  Addiction is actually witchcraft, according to the Bible.  Are you willing to sell your soul to be high while you here for just a short time on earth?  Eternity is forever and ever.  Make sure your eternity is spend in Heaven and get help today.

Faith based compassionate recovery is available online and by phone, with 24/7 support. For more information, visit

Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Benzodiazepines, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

Xanax and Ativan and Klonopin, Oh My!

When we make the choice too find hope and peace in a little (lethal) pill, we’re in bigger trouble than we can ever realize.  Hope doesn’t come in the form of a capsule, tablet, street drug or alcohol.  Hope comes from the Lord and from within.  I’m not saying this with condemnation because up until 11 years ago, and since I was 11, I was drugging with prescription drugs, big time!  My lesson came from a devastating awakening via a massivev accidental overdose from which I was supposed to die.

I decided to talk about Benzodiazepines today because so many people are popping them, thinking that peace will come.  ‘Benzos’ are just another form of chemical restraint… kind of a straight jacket for the mind in the form of a pill.  You get carried into a peaceful euphoria for a half an hour to a few hours.  BUT… and there’s a BUT… you will pay the price.  Crushing your emotions is deadly; feelings need to be dealt with, head on.  Emotional trauma needs to be talked through and talked out – not numbed.  Benzos don’t take the trauma away… they just restrain your feelings for a very short time.  Have you ever considered that we were born with emotions?  Animals have emotions.  We need not be afraid of them… we need to feel them.  We will talk about relieving anxiety naturally in a future post.  Today, I wanted to alert you to the dangers so that you will get help.

Foundations Recovery Network, one of the nation’s leading organizations for treating a dual diagnosis of substance addiction and mental health disorders, recently put together an infographic on the risks associated with benzodiazepine abuse. Shared below with their permission, it summarizes data both startling and shocking from sources such as the British Medical Journal, Pain Medicine News, and SAMHSA, the government’s Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.

“While benzodiazepines have been prescribed for decades to treat anxiety and seizure disorders,” a foundation representative tells me, the “possible threat of overusing them is real and with that comes dependency, overdose and the potentiality of death.”

Do American doctors and patients know, for example, that since 2010, there have been 6,507 U.S. drug overdose deaths involving benzodiazepines? That in 2010 alone, 124,902 Americans were rushed to the E.R. just because of Xanax? And that, one year later, addiction to the same drug resulted in 39,408 confiscations by law authorities? If they didn’t know this, they should. 49 million prescriptions for Xanax were filled in the U.S. in 2011 alone.

The infographic summarizes common side effects and contraindications with benzodiazepine use; key statistics related to the dangers of abuse; and symptoms of overdose. It also lists the number of related ER visits for each type of benzo, and the number of confiscations by law enforcement. In total, Americans filled 127 million prescriptions for these drugs in 2011. The figures are eye-opening, deeply worrying, and clearly demand both attention and action.


benzo infographic

A portion of this article was taken from HERE.


Need faith based compassionate help for your drug or alcohol recovery?  CLICK HERE.

Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Alcohol, Prescription Drug Addiction, Recovery to being Recovered, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

Are Opioids Your ‘Go To’?

Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

James 1:2-4

Whether is be crippling chronic pain, depression, despair, anxiety, discouragement or something else, opioids (or other drugs or alcohol) are not the answer.  If you want to get deeper into despair, create more health and emotional problems for yourself,  and/or experience an accidental overdose that leads to your premature death, then you’re doing the right thing.  Remember that you continued using because you were already broken.  Why would you want to give yourself more problems?

Addictive opioids, benzos, antidepressants, anti-psychotics and hypnotics will bite you; it’s just a matter of time.  More often than not, you will not have any warning; it will just happen.  I don’t want that for you… that’s why I devote so much time to my ministry and writing.  I would like to believe that I went through my nightmare of addiction and massive overdose for a reason… that reason is to help YOU!  People say, “been there – done that”, but I really have!  My story is within this blog for you to read.

Speaking of chronic pain and opioids right now, I guarantee that they will make the pain worse.  Why?  They lower your body’s ability to cope with pain.  They also cause your body to need more and more to have the same effect as they did in the beginning.  The increase in dose that many people will end up taking, WILL cause your suffering and eventual early death. You don’t have to believe me, do your research.

After my accidental overdose, I was detoxed.  I came out of the hospital not knowing what to do with my pain and the anxiety created by it, as well as the insomnia that came with this package.  I sought God in the matter.  I knew that He was aware of everything that was going on with me and that He held the answer. I have to say that there is a supernatural relevance and mystery to suffering.  I now know that for me, my pain has caused me to seek God’s Face and get closer than close to Jesus.  I took my dependence off of pills and transferred it to God.  The thing about it is that I’m HAPPY, AT PEACE and FILLED WITH JOY!  I eagerly await His coming.  I know that there is an eternity waiting for me where “God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”. (Revelation 21:4)

For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake.  (Philippians 1:29)

Believe in Jesus who died for you.  He will set you FREE!  He’s knocking at the door.  Come to Him, or come back to Him, – now.

My contact form is below.  Please don’t hesitate to talk with me.

Much Love & God Bless,


Yeshua at the door

The road to recovery is best taken with someone who truly loves and cares about you (we do) and who loves and honors God (we do).  CLICK HERE!

Posted in Accidental Overdose, Addiction, Prescription Drug Addiction, Uncategorized, Withdrawal

I Didn’t Know I Was Addicted!

Up until 2007, when Jesus set me free from the bondage of my former addiction, I was a pill popper… my doctors’ best customer.  I thought nothing of it.  After all, they were all given to me by a variety of doctors throughout my life and since the age of only 11.  I never went to a street dealer to buy pills – never needed to. I thought that if a doctor gave them to me, it was a okay… a safe way to fix whatever it was that was bothering me.  I never gave it a second thought!  Little did I know then what I know now, that there is an AGENDA!


There was a time, back in the day, when a doctor’s oath to “do no harm” really meant something; however, for decades, that oath should have been “do harm if it means money”.  As a nurse, I had to take a similar oath and I kept it, to the very best of my ability, with every one of my patients over the 27 years of my career.  The change, in my opinion, to ‘do no harm’ came when psychiatric medications were introduced by the major pharmaceutical companies and were pushed to doctors who pushed them to their patients and dispensed them as the answer to most all of life’s problems.  Today, even little babies still in cribs receive them when parents complain that they babies cry too much or fuss excessively.  Although doctors know that they are just going through normal growth patterns, pills mean steady visits to the doctor… steady visits mean more money… more money means wealth.  Wealth is a big deal to people who don’t know God and really don’t want Him.  As my ‘treasures’ are in Heaven, many doctors’ treasures are in their bank accounts, clothes, vacations,  houses, boats and other luxuries.

Next came Benzodiazepines which were given out like candy.  They dumbed down the anxious, calmed the nerves of the irritated, and zombified people who just had a difficult time dealing with the cares of this life.  Statistics show that mostly women were given them.  When Opioids came into being, they were originally developed to be given to people who were terminally ill and in their last days of life.  When Big Pharma and doctors got wind of how much money these brought in, they began prescribing them for everything from cancer all the way to a random headache.  Dentists gave them out fairly often as well.  According to law, in order to receive controlled drugs such as opioids and benzodiazepines, you need to have a monthly visit with your doctor in order to get a new prescription and you can only receive one month’s worth.  Not bad for business, right?  It’s a pretty cushy deal.

As a nurse, I suffered 4 major career related injuries, resulting in pills and more pills.  I dutifully took them.  At first, the euphoria was beyond my imagination and I just loved the high.  I didn’t feel one bit guilty feeling that good.  After all, my pills were by prescription, so I didn’t have to worry about anything, right?  WRONG!!!

high on pills

My biggest concentration of drugs were during the 7 years before my coma and near death in 2007 from prescription drugs.  If you have read my previous posts, you can see the 12 narcotics that I was taking.  It amazes me today that during all those years, I didn’t wrap my brain around the harm that these drugs were doing to me – especially since I was having problems breathing, staying awake, heart palpitations, trouble concentrating, difficulty evacuating, incontinence, diminished mobility, extreme weakness, and many other problems.  I was a nurse who had worked a little in the field of addiction at a rehab… and didn’t realize it what was happening to me.  When it happened to me, I couldn’t figured it out. Possibly, I didn’t want to.  My doctor giggled when I told him I was addicted.  He completely denied it.  That was one month before my near death from my accidental overdose. I don’t know.  All I knew was that I became deathly ill which later I found out was ongoing and worsening withdrawal.  You see, the longer you take these drugs, the more the body needs.  When you don’t get the higher doses, you body will go into withdrawal until it kills you.

Bottom line for today:  If you’re addicted, get help in detox.  Check yourself in and force your doctor or the emergency room staff that your life is in danger and you want to be detoxed.  Do NOT detox yourself, as withdrawal is life threatening.  If you’re addicted to prescription drugs as I was, please realize that after two weeks, you ARE addicted!  You need help!  At some point, you will spiral downhill just like I did.  The side effects of prescription painkillers, tranquilizers, antidepressants and others, cause doctors to treat you for conditions that you don’t have.  Rx side effects mimic other disorders.  PLEASE get help today!

Need help in recovery?  Would you like to recover from home after getting out of detox?  Not a fan of 12 steps?  Victory Retreat Montana Online could be your answer – especially if you’re looking for faith based help from other Christians.  After my experience and background, my husband and I founded a ministry in 2011 that takes people through an awesome recovery.  We are certified Teen Challenge PSNC teachers and integrate their program into ours.  Contact us below if you want more info or visit

Much Love & God Bless!